I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
