he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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