sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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