Don't make out with my wife yet
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
