i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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