She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
