Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
