He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Houston, we have a blender
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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