i'm lost and i look like a hooker
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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