They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
