I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
