I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pants are for mortals
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
