Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
