I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
