its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
