why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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