So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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