I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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