Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
