That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
