I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
