I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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