I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
