do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize