she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
