It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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