Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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