Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
