it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
