Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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