new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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