did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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