We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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