bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
