What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And then my night got REAL pukey
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Damn victory sex feels great
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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