Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
