I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize