I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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