I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
