I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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