Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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  (310): and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night. http://tfl.nu/rugs
  Replies (33) Good night (637) Bad night (3032)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?

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  (716): I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays? http://tfl.nu/wnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (9317) Bad night (711)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.

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  (512): I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me. http://tfl.nu/h7ic
  Replies (22) Good night (4144) Bad night (1242)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

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  (989): We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning. http://tfl.nu/h1ay
  Replies (23) Good night (5188) Bad night (789)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall

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  (617): I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall http://tfl.nu/nke4
  Replies (19) Good night (4978) Bad night (889)
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  (925): View more from California

  curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

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  (925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high. http://tfl.nu/vy6k
  Replies (12) Good night (2998) Bad night (1356)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties

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  (561): just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties http://tfl.nu/aad8
  Replies (16) Good night (7282) Bad night (1072)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.

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  (321): I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one. http://tfl.nu/vil5
  Replies (15) Good night (6015) Bad night (1447)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Fear?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FEAR.

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  (617): Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear. (781): Fear? (617): FEAR. http://tfl.nu/5mzi
  Replies (5) Good night (2889) Bad night (875)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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  (214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (1267)
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  (646): View more from New York

  People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.

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  (646): People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home. http://tfl.nu/e0ck
  Replies (8) Good night (1345) Bad night (485)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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  (434): High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world. http://tfl.nu/0gxn
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (463)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT

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  (404): Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT http://tfl.nu/tfsq
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (625)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.

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  (405): I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it. http://tfl.nu/f6bj
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.

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  (786): When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock. http://tfl.nu/2333
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (301)

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