Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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  (845): even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point. http://tfl.nu/9fmk
  Replies (18) Good night (748) Bad night (2670)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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  (206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq
  Replies (48) Good night (2802) Bad night (743)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I got her a Nickelback box set.

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  (317): I got her a Nickelback box set. http://tfl.nu/3u3u
  Replies (80) Good night (1895) Bad night (26476)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

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  (630): He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house. http://tfl.nu/pura
  Replies (50) Good night (3384) Bad night (5683)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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  (904): youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb http://tfl.nu/7q2n
  Replies (26) Good night (900) Bad night (5488)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

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  (513): i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom. http://tfl.nu/yu7b
  Replies (23) Good night (7133) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1320) Bad night (1033)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.

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  (202): Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands. http://tfl.nu/8ssv
  Replies (10) Good night (1798) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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  (479): I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me. http://tfl.nu/4b9a
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

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  (720): New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air. http://tfl.nu/zwsc
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

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  (469): He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am. http://tfl.nu/tu7g
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (338)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway

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  (401): I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway http://tfl.nu/g36h
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.

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  (812): Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me. http://tfl.nu/oqrx
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly

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  (707): We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly http://tfl.nu/u904
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?

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  (909): If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that? http://tfl.nu/o5in
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (213)

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