just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
