So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"