Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

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(520): View more from Arizona

Clearly I made an impression.

(404): View more from Georgia

Or at least your vagina did.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...

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(925): View more from California

370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

(1-925): View more from California

what are you doing with your life

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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(710): View more from

my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.

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