her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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