There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
