Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
