I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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