god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
