I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
