I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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