You made me cry and you don't even care
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
