We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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