Jerry, you need to find god
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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