she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
