I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is the high leading the old right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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