Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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