And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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