Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
