Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize