Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
