i can't believe i had my finger in that
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
