Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
