You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
