Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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