Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
