ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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